5 Top Ways to Start Doing More of What Makes You Happy

Today, I will do something fun, something I enjoy, something just for me. I will take responsibility for making myself feel good.

— Melodie Beattie, Language of Letting Go

 

What makes you happy? It’s such a simple question—yet, many people I work with struggle to come up with even one answer. It’s as if they were asked some huge existential question, like, “Why were you born?”

Much of our innate joy has been lost in our American culture that sprang from Puritan values that overemphasized work and devalued pleasure. Fortunately, we are now finding that you cannot disregard fun, leisure, or creativity without losing a piece of yourself in the process. But many people were never taught, or shown, that it is even OK to do what you love. I have found that the very concept of life being fun and joyful, versus stressed and overwhelming, seems a foreign concept to too many people.

Women, especially, too seldom think about what makes them happy, let alone do those things on a regular basis or make them a priority.

Life is busy and demanding. But, beware: mindlessly marching through life can be treacherous to your health and your spirit. Taking time to do what you love leads to a relaxed, confident, and productive life. It eases stress and frustrations. When you do what you love, you produce better results and are more successful, which is very satisfying.

Here are 5 Ways To Start Doing What You Love:

1. Step back from your routine and ask yourself this question:

What things, people, places, or activities make me feel energized, uplifted, joyful, exhilarated, or relaxed and peaceful?

Now ask yourself: How many of these things am I doing on a regular basis?

Notice if you are ignoring or failing to honor any of your deepest needs. For example, maybe there’s a part of you that is feeling neglected—maybe even a little sad. Maybe you have an artistic side that’s yearning to paint, or your domestic diva is dying to knit, quilt, or bake. Maybe a distant, long-forgotten dream of being a playwright is longing to get the juices flowing and out onto paper, or a vegetable garden is waiting for your skillful horticultural touches to bring it to life.

2. Write down everything you did yesterday.

Now think about how you felt at each point in the day. How is your daily life connected or disconnected from your passions? David Schkade, PhD, a psychologist and professor of management at the University of California San Diego, used a similar method is studying 900 working women. He concluded, “Happiness [is] something [you can] design and have control over.”

3. Now, Ask yourself:

What passions are hiding inside of me, waiting to be acknowledged and acted upon? Write down the answers.

4. Increase Your Small Pleasures—They Result in Big Joys.

It’s not only the big dreams that you shuttle away in that drawer (or wherever you put all the things you deny yourself). It’s also the little, simple things that can lift your spirits and restore balance and joy to your life. These little joys contribute to a satisfying and rich life.

When you regularly do the things that make you happy, joy becomes your new norm. Here are some ideas of simple things that some people find make them happy. Make a list of your own in your journal (or wherever you write things down).

• See a movie you’ve been dying to see
• Take a nap during the middle of the day
• Get a massage
• Go shopping with a friend.
• Play a sport—shoot some hoops, get up to bat at a local recreation center
• Plan a picnic with someone special
• Read a good book
• Visit a museum you’ve always wanted to see
• Start a new project
• Take a salsa class

Congratulations! You have taken a huge step towards increasing your happiness. Be ready to smile more, laugh louder and feel free-er! Have a Joy-Full day!

5. Choose one of these things and schedule it in your calendar.

Make a promise to yourself to honor this commitment!